Two trashy magazines, a shot of painkillers and a maddening SEVEN HOURS LATER, it was confirmed that I definitely have anemia.

So now I have a bit of a conundrum. My solution comes in true Vicki form of a Pros & Cons list:

Staying vegan and taking iron supplements:

Pro: I can stay healthy without compromising my morals.

Con: I actually pay attention to my nutritional needs a lot more than you might think and I’m still not getting enough iron. What if I don’t get enough even with supplements?

Pro: I was woken up to the nurse telling me my iron levels weren’t that low.

Con: I was half awake when he told me how low my iron was and I was too out of it to think about asking him again…so I’m not 100% certain how he defined “not that low.”

Con: If my iron levels continue to be low, I can’t drink.

Pro: Not drinking is not that big of a deal for me and I am going through a phase of not wanting to get hammered all the time anyway.

Not so muching the vegan thing:

Pro: I’ll definitely get enough iron.

Con: It requires me to eat animal flesh, something I haven’t done in over 3 years.

Pro: I can still incorporate veg*n food into my diet, especially for things I know I will inhale (i.e., baked goods).

Con: I looooooooove meat and cheese and am afraid I will pass up veg*n foods for delicious convenience, thereby causing me to gain weight.

Pro: If I’m that afraid of gaining weight, I can do two things I’ve been meaning to do for a few years: quit smoking and going to the gym.

Con: That requires me to quit smoking and haul my ass to the gym.

Pro: It will be easier to go out to eat.

Con: It will be easier to go out to eat.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve always thought it was fucking stupid to choose your ethics over your health. If your ass is too sickly to get out of bed, how on earth do you think you can be an animal rights activist? I had anemia when I was about 17/18 and it really fucking sucked. I’m no where near as bad as I was then, but I know me. As it is, I have chronic, stabbing headaches because of it, I start feeling tired within an hour or two of waking up, I can’t concentrate, I get hangovers more often than I used to and I have a slew of other issues with it.

But then the thought of ingesting animal product makes me a little “ugh, can I really do this again?” I mean, I know it’s not really my fault if I did give up on veganism for the time being and there’s nothing that says I can’t just try it again later. But there’s just the whole push within the animal rights community that says “oh, limiting your meat consumption isn’t enough. You have to go veg! Ew, you’re ovo-lacto? You really need to go vegan.” So I do kind of feel like I’m not doing all I can… Then again, there’s also the point made by Jello Biafra (aka – THE FATHER OF MY ATHEIST BABIES!) which basically says you have to figure out the ethical lifestyle that’s going to work best for you. Although it’s great to not eat meat or to shop at locally owned businesses or not get married if you’re str8, that doesn’t realistically help if your health is at risk or you have to make the choice between groceries and rent or you really need that health insurance your wife’s job will provide. Nuance and reality can’t be overshadowed by principles.

I’m thinking hard about going pesco again. This is a really difficult decision for me and it’s going to take another day or two to come to a conclusion on this.

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