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Entries from May 2008

BULLSHIT

May 30th, 2008 · No Comments

Drunkenatheist, Thank you for showing an interest in IKEA as an employer. After we looked at your qualifications we realized that unfortunately, at the moment, we don’t have any positions that are the right match for you. We wish you all the best in your job search and hope that you find the position that [...]

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Tags: IRONY! · fucking economy · o rly? · wait what?

What have I spent the past day and a half doing?

May 29th, 2008 · No Comments

Yelp reviews What’s better than a website where I can rave about or trash any place I’ve ever been? Well, aside from getting paid to rave/bitch. Or they could give me free stuff. Or there could be a slew of attractive sugar daddies waiting to whisk me away from a life of near poverty. But [...]

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Tags: i'm just sayin · yelp!

Job search

May 22nd, 2008 · 2 Comments

I applied at the following places: Starbucks Rittenhouse Market Consignment store on 11th (?) off South Athletic shoe store that made me want to slit my wrists Athletic shoe store that made me want to blow my brains out Guacamole Pearl Arts City Market I attempted to apply at Whole Paycheck, but they only accept [...]

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Tags: broke like a joke · dollar$ · oldhead · real life nonsense

Youtube

May 22nd, 2008 · 1 Comment

While searching for the “little girl gnaws on neck” part of the intro of the horrific zombie baby absurdity that was the Dawn of the Dead remake, I came across the following intentional absurdity. Incidentally, I think it was far better than all of Dawn of the Dead. (The intro was awesome, but completely destroyed [...]

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Tags: i'm just sayin · videos

Guess who’s awake now?

May 22nd, 2008 · 1 Comment

Me.  Not a zombie version of me who decided to nibble on my neighbor’s neck.  No, it’s really me.  Part of the reason is because I discovered Red Bull in the crisper drawer, but the biggest reason is because I needz dollarz.  So I’ve decided to sell my soul to Retail Hell once again and [...]

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Tags: broke like a joke · dollar$

Juno, AKA: 90 minutes of my life I will never get back.

May 15th, 2008 · 4 Comments

Oh good God. Why haven’t I learned by now that over-hyped crappy “indie” films with even crappier pretentious soundtracks will tempt me to hunt down everyone involved with said film and kick their asses? Flaws with Juno: No lawyer in their right mind would think it was appropriate for a client to suggest buying a [...]

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Tags: feminism · i'm just sayin · stop on a whammy! · wait what?

Kinda feel like my life is falling apart

May 15th, 2008 · 2 Comments

Employment: Non-existant.  I’m about three seconds away from webcamming for a living.  Or seriously taking on a sugar daddy.  Oh, and I have a shit-ton of books to mail that I haven’t gotten around to sending out yet.  I should have sent them out about a week or two ago. Grades: Yeah.  I have to [...]

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Tags: broke like a joke · real life nonsense · stop on a whammy!

Realizations from the past 24 hours.

May 7th, 2008 · 2 Comments

Drinking has caused me to make a lot of new friends. Most of the time, Matt and I would go to the bar and just strike up a conversation with someone…next thing we’d know, we’re eating dinner or partying or hitting Pure with our brand new friends. It’s funny how things like that work. Most [...]

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Tags: how do old people make friends? · real life nonsense · that's gay

Rule #1 of meeting new people.

May 7th, 2008 · No Comments

GET CONTACT INFO FOR THEM! On Saturday, after a hard night of drinking at The Scare, Mr. Matt and I decided we should partake in our traditional Gay Pizza stop. I might have been a little….blitzed. He was considerably more sober. Okay, so that’s just to make me feel better. He was definitely sober. While [...]

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Tags: real life nonsense · stop on a whammy! · that's gay

Home Depot Hookups?

May 6th, 2008 · No Comments

Courtesy of iVillage.com’s “9 Unusual New Places to Meet Men”:

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Tags: IRONY! · that's gay · wait what?