Rule #1: Don’t stick your dick (metaphorical or otherwise) into Crazy.

Rule #2: If you’ve broken rule #1, which you probably have if you need my help, don’t respond to Crazy’s text messages, Facebook wall posts, phone calls, or emails.

Rule #3: Don’t continue to stick your dick (metaphorical or otherwise) into Crazy.

Rule #4: Don’t get high and allow Crazy to talk you into a relationship.

Rule #4a: Certainly don’t get high and get into a relationship with Crazy after Crazy has done some decidedly crazy shit.

Rule #5: Do make out with your new suitor in front of Crazy when Crazy shows up to your house while you are orgasming.

Rule #6: Make sure that the follow up to Crazy has a concealed carry permit.

Rule #6a: Make sure that the follow up to Crazy has a deep commitment to lulz.

Rule #6b: Make sure that the follow up to Crazy is very aware that Crazy could explode all over you while dealing with the never ending saga of your relationship fall out.

Rule #7: When your love interest jumps out of bed after you’ve been talked into a relationship so s/he can update their relationship status on Facebook, you may have accidentally stuck your (metaphorical or otherwise) dick into Crazy.

Rule #8: Don’t break up in a private place.

Rule #9: Make sure that your mutual friends (the ones Crazy will need to lean on after you’ve had the blow out “GTFO OF MY LIFE” fight) don’t get high really often, or Crazy might show up on your doorstep.

Rule #10: Don’t flip out on Crazy.  Rather, wait for Crazy to have sabotaged his/her life so much that everyone else sees how crazy Crazy is.  This may include, but is not limited to, the following: mutual friends, former lovers, their friends, coworkers, family, customers, pets, people walking down the street.  You get the drift.