Middle class families will see their taxes cut — and no family making less than $250,000 will see their taxes increase.

–President Obama

O rly?

In case you haven’t been following the word on the street with regard to cigarette taxes, you might not know that the federal government decided to jack up cigarette taxes in the past…err…month? I know, I know, you’re probably thinking that it’s cool to increase cigarette taxes because smoking is an ooky addiction that is terrible and horrible and every time you light a cigarette, god kills a kitten. Or something like that. Typical rich white liberal logic. Freedom, when in respect to abortion or sucking dick, is cool, but me choosing to smoke a cigarette is awful and should be infringed upon. Because gee gosh, I chose to start smoking! (Never mind that socially conservative right-wingers constantly use the same basic arguments against both abortion and gay rights.)

What’s fucking hilarious about this argument is that Democrats, the party that overwhelmingly supports anti-smoking legislation, also claim to omg!care! about the middle and working classes, as well as the poor. But gee gosh, as pointed out by Tax Foundation’s handy little breakdown, funding S-CHIP through cigarette taxes – a tax on a vice disproportionately consumed by the poor/working/middle classes – consequently also disproportionately impacts the poor and working classes.

My favorite part about all of it is that the official party line on raising cigarette taxes is that “these taxes will force people to quit, therefore improving everyone’s general health.” But no one seems to think about the fact that clearly the government doesn’t what you to quit. If they did, a program like S-CHIP wouldn’t be funded by a per use tax. (At least that can’t be done while still maintaining to “care” about the poor. If the intended public health consequences occur, than say goodbye to S-CHIP.) Also, if the government really gave that much of a shit about you quitting smoking, you might actually see tax money being spent on smoking cessation aids instead of asinine anti-smoking garbage. You know, something that might be USEFUL.

So what I propose is that you say “fuck the government” and quit smoking. I’m contemplating turning into a Facebook movement, but then I might be thought of as a radical militia woman.

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