George Tiller, affectionately known by extremist anti-choice groups as “Tiller the Killer,” was murdered this morning while at church with his wife.

I have a lot on my mind regarding this situation, mainly because I’m a woman who has fully benefited from the strides made in reproductive rights over the past 36 years. I had an abortion at 19 and I gave up a child for adoption at 20. I’ve used condoms, Depo-Provera, and Plan B. We will probably not actually start our family until I am about 35 and certainly won’t be done until my late 30s. Between my age and him being Jewish, genetic testing is not an option for us. It is mandatory, as far as we are concerned. Even if I want to give birth to that baby more than anything, if we should have the misfortune of my being pregnant with a Tay-Sachs fetus (for example), we will be in contact with a doctor who can provide me with a 3rd trimester abortion. Dr. Tiller’s death also hits me personally, because I have helped run letter writing campaigns supporting the businesses who chose to take his money and patients, even in the face of organized boycotts run by Operation Rescue. I have sent his clinic “thank you” cards on National Abortion Provider day, because I know it must be harder than hell to wake up every morning knowing it could be your last, when you didn’t sign up for that. I have donated money I didn’t have and time I could have spent playing video games to help the pro-choice movement and his clinic specifically.

Tonight, I will be doing something I often don’t do: mourning the death of someone I don’t know and whom I’ve never met.