This is why it’s really funny when (relatively) rich people try to tell me that I hate poor people.

As I mentioned on Monday, I managed to break a tooth earlier this week.  Due to my lack of employment, savings, and health insurance, the cheapest option for me was to go to a local dental school.  Actually, if it were up to me, I would have just let the damn thing rot out on its own.  All I’m saying is that I was not itching to head over to get my face drilled.  Unfortunately for me, I was unable to convince Libertarian Boyfriend of my undiagnosed scurvy, so off to Penn’s emergency dental clinic we went.

Waiting for the initial visit was an experience in disorganized hippy bullshit that solidified more of my supreme newfound hatred for the government.  After I had filled out my admissions paperwork, their sassy administrative assistant called me up to get my health insurance info and ID.  I told him I had none (while thinking “if I had health insurance, I’d be at a real dentist’s office!”), and in response, he instructed me to grab another paper at the counter.  This sheet had info about a government program for non-insured patients; if your income is low enough (under $21,600/yr for a single person), then you can get your dental work for free.  Awesome!  I’m poor!  I’ve got no insurance!  I’ve got no income!  I’ve got no savings!  I’ve got no unemployment, welfare, disability, or veteran’s benefits!  Awesome!  I should qualify, right?

Oh, no, see, we’ve hit a snag.  And by “snag,” I mean, I’m not eligible for this aid because I’m too poor to prove how poor I am.

I asked the guy how I would prove the I am way below the poverty line and do not have a job.  He asked about unemployment.  I told him I don’t collect it or welfare.  He told me that I had to pay in full.

That’s right.  If you don’t accept outright government aid, aren’t unemployment eligible, and don’t have a job, you are somehow deemed ineligible for this program.  I would happily give them my social and allow them to pull my employment records (as un-libertarian as that might be) if it might mean that I could actually use government money for its intended purpose (helping someone get back on their feet).  Is it any wonder why I might think welfare is designed to keep you trapped into a cycle of poverty?

I shook my head and loudly announced my disdain for the government while my not-so-BFF stared at me like I was somehow the jerk here.  Luckily, he toned down the sassy queen bullshit by the time I went back up because I hadn’t put down a phone number.  I think he sort of got the drift when I stared him down and coldly informed him that I really do not have a phone number.  I just let him save face when he realized that I might not have been lying about being broke as shit and changed his response to “oh I guess it doesn’t matter since you’re paying cash.”

Thirty-six hours later, I acknowledge that my aggravation was 40% because of legit annoyance and 60% because I was getting pretty nervous the closer I was getting to having my face drilled.  Luckily, once the clinic officially opened at 9, I was seen pretty quickly and my initial dentist told me that I need a root canal.  Yay, I won’t look like a jack o’ lantern!  They could start it immediately!  BOO, I DON’T WANT A DRILL IN MY FACE AT 10 AM! NO, PLEASE RECONSIDER!

The next thing I knew, I was being walked downstairs to their endodontry clinic and got the pleasure of spending the next 2.5-3 hours of my life getting my tooth drilled, scraped, and x-rayed.  This was not happy fun times, especially when I had the stupid tooth clamp put on.  That shit wasn’t pressure, it fucking hurt, especially when my endodontist had to take x-rays.  Every time she initially re-stretched the dental dam, the damn clamp kept pulling my tooth until she had redistributed the tension to at least two points.

Ow.

I have an appointment to go back next Thursday for the end of the root canal and the initial steps for my crown.  I’m not looking forward to it, but my tooth and jaw are in surprisingly much better shape than I thought they would be.  When I had issues opening my mouth all the way to brush my teeth this morning, I was really afraid that it was going to be like wisdom tooth recovery all over again.  (I’m chalking that stiffness up to the fact that I had been awake for about 3.5 minutes at that point in time.)

As for right now, this is what the temporary filling looks like:

This is what $45 and 4 hours of your life in Penn dental will get you.

You can’t see it that well, but the filling is an unnaturally white, super matte filling and the work left my gums all bruised and banged up looking.  The worst part is that the temp filling feels fucking weird and I can’t stop running my tongue over it.  I’m pretty certain they used clove oil in my tooth, because I kept tasting cloves yesterday, but now it just mainly tastes metallic.  I’d rather have the clove oil because at least I like the taste of cloves.  Sucking on a penny?  Not so much.  I  hope that I can update next week with a more toothlike looking filling, because this is going to drive me nuts if I have something like it for the next month.

And maybe I won’t even feel like I need to take a valium beforehand.

* I jest, my student dentist – Dr. Carmen Garcia – did a great job and kept my nerves from getting the best of me, even as my anesthesia wore off towards the end of today’s appointment.

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