Enjoy:

1. Kissimmee, FL police are too stupid to tell the difference between crack rocks and minty fresh breath mints.  He now no longer has his home, car, and his job.
2. Plaxico Burress is sentenced to one month more in jail than Michael Vick.  This is despite the fact that Vick was profiting off of a criminal enterprise and Burress – quite literally – only hurt himself.
3. Cash for Clunkers is finito even though it made so much sense as a green initiative to allow people to trade in their old pickup trucks for new ones.  I guess the several mpg helped save the American auto industry ozone layer.  Or something like that.
4. In case you’ve been living under a rock: the Lockerbie bomber was released.  According to a victim’s sister, this says “you can get away…WITH MURDER!”  I’m thinking that it says “if you go and get yourself some cancer, you can get away…WITH MURDER!”
5. Obama to health care: I’m never gonna give you up, I’m never gonna say good-bye.  I’m never gonna run around….and hurt you.
6. Kinta Stanton, a defendant in last year’s assault of a Philly Starbucks manager, testified in court on Thursday morning.  Philly residents are showing their respect for civil rights and the law by decrying the defendants’ rights to a trial.  I guess you’re only innocent until proven guilty if you are a cop.
7. I have nothing against suicide.  I do, however, have something against suicide when it prevents me from going to Chinatown to get some Boba drink.
8. Chow.com reports on the comeback of alcoholic punch and makes me jealous of New Yorkers.
9. I feel dirty about supporting him in any way, but I do like this small piece by John Stossel re: “Obamacare.”
10. Michael Vick’s pit bulls have been rehabilitated.  I’m waiting to see a story about him donating a nice chunk of change to the rescue who had to take of his dogs, but I’m not holding my breath on that.
11. In shocking news, the guy whose (until recently) only claim to fame was a crappy pop-country song with a line dance might not be the best person to give out parenting advice.
12. According to a Canadian study, injections of prescription grade heroin are much more effective at treating heroin addiction than methadone.  I’m a little bummed, because I thought the article might be the heroin equivalent of your parents making you smoke an entire pack of cigarettes.
13. Google books is run by a bunch of meanieheads who just want to hurt intellectuals!  Right, because most of the country is buying books and not garbage like Every Thug Needs a Lady.

—-

If you’re reading this from my Facebook notes, please go to the original blog post (located here) to comment.

• «Previous Post
• Next Post »

---