(And if you can’t discern the humor in the story, then you might not want to talk to marginally attractive Asian chicks who work for Vice.)

Don’t worry though, Tremble didn’t get scammed. Instead, that whorey whorey sluttified cuntrag bitch only OMG WASTED HIS TIME! YEAH!

Unfortunately for Tremble – who supposedly posted his poorly written, bitter, sexist diatribe to “set the record straight!” – Ferrell’s wiki does not properly credit him. OH NOES! Because feeling the need to “set the record straight” surely isn’t a sign of needing attention. At all.

Anyway, as you can imagine, there is a lot of butthurt going on in the comment section of that blog post. For the most part, it’s white kids acting like smartasses and continually posting “stop snitching,” with butthurt, uptight white people whining about how the “stop snitching” mentality is awful. There’s also the cliched comments of “IF U DONT LIKE DA COPS, THEN DONT CALL DEM” from functionally illiterate 16 year old white kids from the suburbs. Let’s not forget the tons of comments about how this omg! scum! should rot in jail. Yes, because that won’t teach her how to be a better criminal or anything. And, for good measure, throw in a few “OMG BUT WHO WOULD LIE ABOUT CANCERS?!?!??!?!? THAT MEANS IT’S OKAY FOR ME TO GET SCAMMED!” As I said here and on the Clog link, I live in a society that tells me I was “asking for it” if I get raped – under all but maybe 1% of circumstances – yet I’m not allowed to say “hey dumb fuck, didn’t you think it sounded weird that this chick was smoking weed and partying when she had stage 4 lung cancer?”

But what do I know? That would only MAKE SENSE.

Now, if only Philadelphia Police could extend this same sort of work ethic to real crimes. Like, ones that physically hurt others. That might be super cool. Oh wait, lulz, they didn’t actually do much of any work. They relied on a hipster douche who watches too much Law & Order: SVU (for the irony of Ice-T as a cop, of course!) to set up a mad sting operation. Maybe Tremble could get a job with PPD?

This chick bilked Salt Lake City straight edge and NYC hipster douchebags out of, like, $60K.

This story was brought to my attention by a Facebook friend, who posted the link earlier today. While it certainly sucks to have been scammed out of thousands of dollars, I have one big question: how fucking stupid are you?

Seriously, the first page of the article contains this passage:

Bobby started making the trip from New Brunswick, N.J., to Brooklyn every weekend. She told him she worked for GoldenVoice and gave him one of her business cards. She had an ATM card, Bobby recalled, but it never seemed to work; she could only get cash out of it, not use it as a debit card, and, she told him, it only worked at this one bodega near her apartment. So she would borrow money and promise to pay it back.

Soon she told him she was afraid she was pregnant. “She told me she took six tests—three were positive, three were negative,” Bobby said. “I told her to go to a gynecologist, get a real pregnancy test, and we’ll move forward from there.” She stopped bringing it up.

When Bobby had been seeing Ms. Ferrell for about six weeks, one of her friends told him that Ms. Ferrell was dying of cancer. When he confronted her, Bobby said she told him “the sob story—‘I’m estranged from my parents, I don’t know who my birth parents are, my adoptive parents are abusive.’ It never occurred to me that it would be odd that someone who’s dying of cancer, who has three months to live, would just move from Salt Lake City to Brooklyn.”

It later goes onto state that the chick said that her cancer didn’t always pop up on ER screenings and that she was spotted partying and smoking pot when she supposedly only had 3 months left to live. Oh, the cancer she supposedly had? Lung cancer. And these hipster idiots still believed her. Insert extreme lulz here.

I think I’m supposed to feel sympathy for the people who got scammed, but I’m not so sure why. Why is it that, if I’ve been raped, I was totally asking for it, but these fucking idiot Asiaphile hipster/straight edge douchebags got too googly-eyed to notice what a flirty, marginally attractive, tattooed Korean chick was pulling on them…and somehow, I’m supposed to weep big, fat crocodile tears for them? Come on dawg, the only way I could feel less sympathy for them is if her initial meetings with them followed this script:

My beloved,

It is my pleasure to contact you for a business venture which I intend to establish in your country.Though I have not met with you before but I believe, one has to risk confiding in someone to succeed sometimes in life.

There is this amount of FIFTEEN Million US Dollars which my Father deposited with a security company which he wanted to used for his political ambition in our Country before he was kidnapped and killed by unknown gun men. Hence my father and mother is dead, I do not have any other hope rather than this funds which is why I contacted you.

Now I have decided to invest these money in your country or any where safe enough outside Africa for security and political reasons. I only give all praises to God who made every thing to be like this, my father is gone, I can count you as my father if you wish to be a Daddy to me.

Hence this investment shall be made in your company upon your withdrawal of the consignment, I do not have money to work on this and will commit suicide and die if I cannot secure my late father’s treasure which he got for his family.

I want you to help us claim and receive the consignment which will be sent to you through diplomatic means to your address to avoid any traces of the funds and to enable you plan for the investment in your Country.

I will like to invest part of the money into these three investment in your Country but, if there is any other business that is better than my suggestion, I will be very glad to follow your advice.

1). Real estate
2). The transport industry
3). Five star hotel

If you can be of an assistance to me, I will be pleased to offer to you 20% Of the total fund while the balance will be invested by you. I need your understanding and honesty to this project, I assure you to always be your brother.

I await your soonest response.

Respectfully yours,

Miss Kari Ferrell

Seriously, how hard is it to develop an ingrained Bullshit Detector? According to the article, this chick may be in Philly. I guess I will have to truck down to BuffEx and get some hideously hipster-tastic clothing so I might be able to meet her. If nothing else, I’d like to advise her that Namibia is a fantastic destination country for white collar felons.

I mean, I guess I could rant about how Obama needs to accept that he received the country is such crap condition that he could very well be a one term president, so he should act accordingly (hai “PBA” ban!); I could also complain about how Ron Paul is anti-big federal government except when it comes to abortion (cause that’s just ooky); I could go into a long, extended rant about no matter how much Libertarian Boyfriend and I see eye to eye, our class backgrounds will prevent us from agreeing on economic issues; I could rant about how I just sat in (what feels like) spray adhesive; I could rant about how much class matters and how entitled white brats make me want to slam their heads into something over. and over. and over again; I could weigh in on the whole Meghan McCain/Laura Ingraham debate (for the record: never thought I’d love a republican as much as I’m lovin’ Meghan McCain); I could post about any of the wonderful things I love about Libertarian Boyfriend; I could freak out about the economy; I could talk about silly things like ethics; I could make a list of 100 facts about me; I could go into an extended rant about what exactly “shooting oneself in the foot” means; I could talk at length about how I shop like a dude and how I don’t want to hear small talk, I just want to get in and out with my purchases and be about my merry way; I could bitch about how my being blunt is perceived to be harsh and mean; I could complain about how I miss a few certain individuals who I haven’t seen in awhile, but our schedules make it a bit prohibitive to hang out regularly; I could post a thinly veiled, passive-aggressive little rant directed at those whose stupidity makes me want to put my hands around their throats and squeeze until their eyes bulge out (and if you think that’s serious, you’ve obviously never seen my weak little grip use a garlic press); I could talk about Libertarian Boyfriend and my theories on child rearing; I could talk about what a surreal experience it is to realize you’re going to be 30 in less than a month; I could bitch and complain and throw an e-tantrum about how everyone is a hypocrite and how much that realization blows donkey balls; or I could put up a string of videos to keep you all ever so entertained.

But honestly? I’m so fucking emotionally and physically drained right now that none of that shit is happening. (Well, with the exception of a possible list of 100 facts. That might entertain me enough to write it up. Oh, and the “I think I sat in spray adhesive” thing. Cause seriously? My ass is now gummy. WTF?) I think I should possibly make an attempt to write about some of these subjects, especially given that I’ve had a few of them bouncing around my head for awhile – namely anything involving class disconnect.

So, instead, have some Mickey Avalon. Because that’s happy times.

I also has prednisone.   It makes me not sleep.

The only good thing is that I got lotsa laundry done.  Oh, and I guess the fact that I went to the doctor’s super duper early instead of trying to suffer through it and hope it would go bye bye.

Then I woke up.

That’s when it felt as if my nose gained 40 pounds over the last half hour.  20 of which was in my damnable sinuses.

I worked today through my Black Death.  After getting home and doing a bunch of moving around here, I asked two of my roommates if they were cold.  Roommate #1 felt my head and squished up her face, to which I responded “does I have a fevewwwww?”

I fished out a thermometer and found that, indeed, I had a fever of 100.7.

Luckily, I think I either had a higher fever earlier today or 100.7 is it peaking, because I’m taken my temp too much times since them and it dropped to 100.3, then to 100.1.  I’m going to take it one last time before doping up on cold meds and passing out for 9 hours.  Hopefully I will be a little further away from the Black Death, especially since this time consuming move has caused me to get a little bit behind on schoolwork.

I don’t think there is a point to this, except “I’M SICK.  I HAVE THE BUBONIC PLAGUE.”

2) No, I do not support the distasteful language used in it, but am reposting it here in the interest of free speech and because I think it’s funny.

—-

Yo I heard some muthafuckas be gettin on my bitch [drunkenatheist]‘s shit…
UH-UHHHHHHHHH you haven’t heard?

Bout to sushi a ching-chong, cuz I don’t give a fuck
Little Cambodia nigga, flattened by the lyrics truck
Pol-Pot, you wanna kiss me
you Weezy and I’m Baby
nah better yet
you George Michael and I’m Maeby
I’m a killer bill
and youse gogo with the ball… 
havin trouble scorin dawg
because yo egg roll‘s so small
Wills the million dollar dream
putting you to sleep
run laps around you like Usain Bolt
or the roadrunner nigga beep beep!
i know what you thinkin, baby — so busted it ain’t even fair
only way he gettin dudes off is to stick a mop top in there
yo pol pot back in the day you killed 15 milley right?
now you fuckin with a bitch by shuttin down a website?
youse laughable dawg, cappin you like the jesus
yo face so far in ass you can smell the reese’s

Is this how intrawebz phenomena start?

Bye-bye, cheap & meaningless school hookups.  I’m sticking to the bars.