It might not be Christmasy looking, but this variation of the “Mom” tattoo Subversive Cross-stitch pattern was one of Libertarian Boyfriend’s presents this morning.

Nothin’ says “lovin” like some snarky needlepoint.  Merry Giftmas, friends and foes!

—-

If you’re reading this from my Facebook notes, please go to the original blog post (located here) to comment.

Oh yeah, and this huge bastard:

WTF did we buy? I blame it on how hungry we were when we walked in the door.

Okay, so we made the plans to head into Jersey specifically so I could get four things: pizzelles, pumpkin butter (out of stock), apple cider doughnuts, and a pumpkin, because roasted pumpkin is so awesome. (So is pumpkin risotto, curried pumpkin, roasted winter vegetables…oh hell, I could eat the shit in a kabob. YUM!) When we got to Duffield’s, though, I realized that I couldn’t remember what kind of pumpkins are sugar pumpkins. I thought about it, thought I had the right ones, but Libertarian Boyfriend wanted to double-check. The girls at the bakery pointed us in the direction of the above pictured pumpkin.

While it wasn’t the type I was looking for, I have no idea if they are correct about us being able to cook it and eat it. (Side note: though I love Duffield’s, I am selective about when I’ll ask a store employee for help. This drives Libertarian Boyfriend crazy.) At worst, we’ll just have a batch of really expensive roasted pumpkin seeds; at best, we’ll have enough roasted pumpkin in the freezer to last us for a month or so.

I’m still going to roast it, but I’m curious to know wtf it is. Multiple Google searches have been unhelpful, and I’m starting to get a little concerned that this isn’t a pumpkin, but some mutated freak gourd. Do any of you lovely e-readers have any insight on what type of squash this is? I’d hate to have to follow raging clues on this one and would be so appreciative if anyone in cyberspace could help!

Thanks!

—-

If you’re reading this from my Facebook notes, please go to the original blog post (located here) to comment.

Over the next three months, we began seeing one another with increasing frequency, and on January 13th, to be exact, we began officially dating.  But since it’s us, we’ve opted to celebrate the “fun” anniversary and (maybe) the sappy anniversary.

You put up with my awkwardness, take care of me when I’m sick (or hungover), let me yell when I’m angry, and mercilessly tease me.  You keep up with me, you don’t back down, you can cook, and you rough house with me on the couch.  We’re perfect for one another, and I’m glad your dumbass finally realized it.

I’m so happy to have spent the past year with you and here’s to many more with you.  I love you, assface.

—-

If you’re reading this from my Facebook notes, please go to the original blog post (located here) to comment.

I cocked my eyebrow at him and gave him the evil eye.  As a matter of fact, I’m still giving him the evil eye.  Bastard!

(This conversation should not be confused with the one where I started tearing up about E.T. with a shaky, sniffle punctuated “b-b-b-b-b-b-but the government wanted to do experiments on himanditwassoooosadican’twatchit!” He then responded by asking if that was when I first became a libertarian. That fuck.)

—-

If you’re reading this from my Facebook notes, please go to the original blog post (located here) to comment.

Pork tenderloin medallions with apple cider sauce on a bed of pickled red cabbage accompanied by latkes topped with homemade applesauce and sour cream.

—-

If you’re reading this from my Facebook notes, please go to the original blog post (located here) to comment.

]]> http://drunkenatheist.com/2009/08/22/i-spell-delicious-with-thousands-of-years-of-oppression/feed/ 0 http://drunkenatheist.com/2009/08/10/man-keith-olbermann-is-so-edgy-im-so-glad-he-is-there-to-balance-out-the-media/ http://drunkenatheist.com/2009/08/10/man-keith-olbermann-is-so-edgy-im-so-glad-he-is-there-to-balance-out-the-media/#comments Mon, 10 Aug 2009 22:09:58 +0000 drunkenatheist http://drunkenatheist.com/?p=574 And what’s the best way to do that?  By calling women whores and making commentaries on their looks/sexual proclivities, of course!

Degrading women is funny and edgy and it’s okay to do if you’re liberal, cause omg! you totally can’t be sexist!

In a similar vein to a piece on Feministing, how on Earth can someone compare having a non-consensual act of physical violence inflicted upon them to a consensual act of sexual expression?  I’m not going to sit here and graphically describe my sexual exploits.  For Chrissake, my family members have access to this blog.  Instead, I can tell you that when I engage in naughty time with my other half, none of it is degrading.  I am making the conscious, consensual decision to engage in whatever I want, and I’m going to guess that it’s likely Ms. Hilton does the same. I’m also going to go out on a limb and suggest that she’s like me and doesn’t want to be assaulted when out in public.

Regardless of your feelings about Paris Hilton, it is irresponsible for journalists to perpetuate the idea that a female’s worth is dictated primarily by her looks and sexual desirability. This is doubly true when it comes from a liberal commentator. You know what? I expect this shit from conservatives. I understand that most conservatives argue for freedom but don’t really trust me – a woman – to be able to make decisions about my own body, much less want me to break through the glass ceiling. I understand where the conservative’s perspective and focus is, and I can work with that or ignore it, because of one crucial difference: they often don’t feel the need to speak for me. It’s that much more patronizing and degrading what it comes from someone who supposedly supports feminism (or the LGBT community, or non-Christians, or the poor) to see shit that is completely counter-productive to that goal. I get it, no one wants to be known as “that famous asshole who hates woman” (though Olbermann’s arch nemesis doesn’t seem to be hurting for viewers, fame, or money). I get it, but I’m sick to death of seeing this “even though I’m a sexist pig, I can’t admit to being a sexist pig, so I’ll just stick to making my pot shots at stupid bitches no one likes” bullshit play out.

And yeah, I already know this is a three year old blurb; however, I’d like to point something out: I have never received an email from the Democratic Party decrying the enlightened, educated, and wise Keith Olbermann for his sexist shit. This is the exact reason why I can’t take my most recent email from Democrats.com seriously. The email, entitled “Boycott Fox News Advertisers,” is a melodramatic mess of shit wherein the Democratic Party proves that they can be just as big on the “you’re with us or against us” mentality of Bush & co. In it, they make a bunch of wild claims that are tantamount to “Republicans rape puppies and hate ‘Merika, while Democrats are awesome and are nice and would never be mean to anything ever and we swear this has nothing to do with the fact that we’re in power!” Here is a brief snippet of the email:

FOX News has always been the prop aganda [sic] arm of the Republican Party, willing to twist facts and even lie to promote the Republican agenda.

But the election of President Obama in 2008 pushed FOX News into outright hate-mongering and incitement of violence, which is intolerable in a democracy.

[...]

Here are some examples of intolerable hate speech and incitement to violence:

6/30/09 Glenn Beck agreed with guest who urged bin Laden to attack U.S. with nuclear weapons.

There were four or five more examples, but I honestly ignored them because this was the only one I’ve watched. I’m already angry that I had to sit through Glenn Beck once. I’m even angrier that I have to not only defend the jackass, but also had to sit through the clip a few more times just to make sure I got a quote correct. When I initially saw a longer version of this video pop up on Digg, I had to wonder if Democrats, Republicans, and Third Party/Independent voters each got different links to click, because I clearly saw a different video than the Republocrats did. This is the slightly shorter version of what I viewed:

Obviously, the version Republocrats viewed featured Glenn Beck, Osama bin Laden, and Michael Scheuer re-enacting lemon party while torching a Whole Foods.  They finished by alternately crapping on American flags and doing their best Yosemite Sam impressions.

I mean, come on, I’m not a Glenn Beck fangirl by any means, but even in that incredibly shortened clip, there is no proclamation that bin Laden should attack the US. Hell, he and Michael Scheuer even end the clip (right at the 1:00 minute mark) with Beck saying “which is why I was thinking, this weekend, if I were him, that would be the last thing I would do right now.”

I wonder why I view both parties as slight variations of the same damn thing. Let’s see, they’ll both happily use sexism when it’s convenient; using sexism against Palin is worse than coveting thy parent’s murder, but it’s cool to refer to Clinton as a dyke because she’s not super feminine. See, with the GOP you get a two-fer of sexism and homophobia! Score! For the most part, neither side wants to decry the bullshit thrown around by their own party members; a notable exception to this rule is Meghan McCain. “[T]wist[ing] facts and even [lying] to promote the Republican agenda” is something straight out of the Republican handbook, but what the hell did Democrats.com do in this email?

I realize it looks as if I’m making some conservative shift as of late, when the reality is that I don’t have much of a desire to nuke the impotent dead horse that is the Republican party. This is one of their off cycles, and I’m sure they’ll sweep Congress again in 2010 (unless third parties pull their heads out of their asses, which I doubt), making the second half of Obama’s first term about as effective as a T-Rex’s tiny little arms. Then while rabbling about how each side is terrible, they’ll work together behind the scenes to pass or reauthorize horrific legislation and screw us even more.

Don’t worry, when that occurs, I’m sure the Republicans will once again give me plenty of material to blog about. Maybe I’ll be able to back off of the Democratic Party again and shed a tear for Barry O. I think it’s more likely that I will be shedding tears over “President” Palin, but who knows. Maybe the world will collapse and all of those damn paranoid conspiracy theorists at Lew Rockwell will be right, and I’ll have years of militia soup and canned baked beans to look forward to.

At least Libertarian Boyfriend and I aren’t anti-gun.

—-

If you’re reading this from my Facebook notes, please go to the original blog post (located here) to comment.

Don’t worry, he’s not lonely right now.

While Libertarian Boyfriend was at work the other night, I was doing my normal all night internet-a-thon. A few hours after he left, a funny little thing popped up in my inbox:

from: CNN Breaking News
date: Mon, Aug 3, 2009 at 10:31 PM
subject: CNN Breaking News
– Former President Bill Clinton is going to North Korea to negotiate for the release of 2 U.S. journalists, a source says.

This CNN breaking news alert was followed by this one earlier today (technically yesterday):

from: CNN Breaking News
date: Tue, Aug 4, 2009 at 3:24 PM
subject: CNN Breaking News

– North Korean President Kim Jong Il has pardoned two U.S. journalists, state-run news agency KCNA said Tuesday.

Even though I picture most of Clinton’s diplomatic missions involving the local rec center and the phrase “I mean, Prime Minister Sharon….come on!”
, the man is pretty much the OG Diplomat. (Oh, that’s right Jimmy Carter, I went there. Go back to building subpar housing for the poor, eating peanut butter off a spoon and hanging out with Paula Deen.)

The pressing question in my mind is this: With the many comparisons made between current President Obama and former President Clinton – does it chap Barry O’s ass that he doesn’t have the same way with words as Slick Willy? I’m guessing it’s a mixed bag. On one hand, he so desperately needs that neo-con cred. (Oh wait, lol, I forgot, he’s, like, omg all about hope and change! And his policies totally mesh up with his campaign promises lip service! And you either support President Obama and hope and change, or you support raping fluffy bunny rabbits, and then the turrorists win! You see the point I’m driving home?) On the other hand, I’m thinking that it probably really frosts Obama’s balls* that Clinton is the one to talk that wacky Kim Jong Il out of releasing the panthers on those journalists. I can’t imagine that Obama doesn’t want to pretend to have some sort of hemp loving, community organizing, fresh faced liberal cred left. Realistically, what better way to shove all that latte drinking elitist “leftist” agenda in a warmongering neo-con’s face than by chillaxing with the Axis of Evil?

You know I’m right.

* Thx Urbandictionary!

Moments like this make me hate my other half.  Up until him, I had a cold, blackened soul, and I liked it.  People used to fear me and they knew I had it in me to ruin their lives if they so much as thought a negative thing about me.  Now I cry at cute animals, stop to look at baby clothes in Target, and try to keep from stealing 4 year olds in martial arts costumes uniforms.

Damn him.

This is also why the new insult in our home is “Suck my huevos!”

Please note the locally made, blue corn tortillas we picked up from the Mexican butcher down the street for $1.  Yum!

I have wanted to kill someone since about 9 am on April 25th.

I’m pretty angry and bitter about this, but I guess it’s passing. I feel weird and lightheaded, and the god awful heat isn’t helping me not be in an erratic, man-hating bitch mood. But I guess quitting is a good thing, because of crap like lung cancer, heart disease and stroke. I do, however, wish they were cheaper and loaded with Vitamin C and shit, because I do so love to smoke delicious, delicious cigarettes.

For the time being, I’m trying to keep from castrating my other half, but I don’t know how that is going to work out. And if I don’t castrate him, hopefully I won’t become some whiny, preachy fuck about the matter. I’m keeping my fingers crossed on that one.