If you needed a reminder of why Cindy Sheehan is an awesomeschmaltz human being and why Glenn Beck is a douchnozzled asshole, there it is. What the fuck have you done with your life?

This is, of course, all under the guise of restoring her autonomy to her. This, certainly, could have nothing to do with the state essentially getting all butthurt about Polanski’s flight, and is all about restoring law and order!

Isn’t it ironic?

Also in “omg, are you living under a rock news”: Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize despite his authorizing his own troop surge in Afghanistan. It’s because, as I’ve sarcastically noted before, Bush was an asshole, but Obama has reasons for continuing Bush’s war-mongering, civil liberties disrespecting, homophobic, oppressive policies.

It’s like a no smoking sign on your cigarette break, my friends.

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1. Let’s start with the depressing: Afghanistan General Stanley McCrystal sees no indication of an al-Qaeda presence in Afghanistan.  So, could we maybe, GTFO or is killing brown people too much fun?
2. Sheldon Richman of the Foundation for Economic Education discusses some of the problems with raising tariffs on cheap Chinese tires.  I liked this quick synopsis a little bit better than Reason’s.
3. Here is some information about why Philadelphia is broke.  Most of the commenters are fucking brain donors, so don’t bother reading.  Note, there are no confirmed cop firings in that article.
4. Can Rihanna even remember the World Trade Center collapse?
5. In neato news: the New York Times does a small writeup on bento boxes.  Despite the fact that it makes me sound like a Wapanese asshole, I fucking love the things.  They are so cute!
6. In fucking “duh” news: Rob Miller isn’t the only one who has raised $1M for his congressional bid.
7. Abortion is a medical procedure, therefore, I expect it to be covered under my health care plan.  Instead, Obama is not going to cover it, presumably because pro-lifers don’t want their tax money going towards abortion.  Too bad that morality doesn’t extend to elective procedures like surgical starvation, which I’m assuming will be covered.
8. Apparently, Tila Tequila was assaulted, allegedly by her boyfriend.  I won’t be following the story too closely, because I’m sure the interwebz have been buzzing with “she was asking for it”esque statements because she’s Tila Tequila.
9. In much less irritating news: enjoy this short blurb from Chow.com about the “lobster boom.”
10. In “at least it involves a cockface getting pummeled news”: Main Line Animal Rescue (based out of DC), will be donating 5 bags of dog food to a DC based animal shelter for every time Michael Vick is tackled during the Eagles’ October 26th game.
11. It’s getting chilly out, so have my favorite knitting tutorial site.
12. If you’re wondering why I don’t support the whole Tea Party thing, CNN can hand you a ton of reasons.
13. In a similar vein to link #11, it’s getting chilly out, which means it is almost my favorite season ever: PUMPKIN SEASON!  SHAZZAM!

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Pentagon Confirms It Sought To Build A ‘Gay Bomb’
Hank Plante

(CBS 5) BERKELEY A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called “Gay Bomb.”

Edward Hammond, of Berkeley’s Sunshine Project, had used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of the proposal from the Air Force’s Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.

As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, “One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior.”

The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.

“The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another,” Hammond said after reviewing the documents.

“The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soliders would become gay,” explained Hammond.

The Pentagon told CBS 5 that the proposal was made by the Air Force in 1994.

Emphasis mine. Yes, folks, it says 1994.

“The Department of Defense is committed to identifying, researching and developing non-lethal weapons that will support our men and women in uniform,” said a DOD spokesperson, who indicated that the “gay bomb” idea was quickly dismissed.

Well, ya know, it’s not as if there are actually gays in the military, right? This MUST be the absolute BEST way to “support our men and women in uniform.”

Here’s a pressing question.. If we develop this technology and use it against our enemies, then won’t we have to worry about the enemy coming on to our soldiers? Everyone knows that those silly gays can’t keep their hands to themselves! Who knows what the sex-crazed homos will do to upstanding straight members of society! They won’t be able to keep from recruiting and then our military will turn into an everlasting Sodomy and Pillow Biting Party!

Clearly, the Pentagon just wasn’t thinking about the risks to our soldiers. It’s a good thing they didn’t go through with this plan. We don’t need no bedazzled hot pants wearing army trying to take out them Iranians on a float.

However, Hammond said the government records he obtained suggest the military gave the plan much stronger consideration than it has acknowledged.

“The truth of the matter is it would have never come to my attention if it was dismissed at the time it was proposed,” he said. “In fact, the Pentagon has used it repeatedly and subsequently in an effort to promote non-lethal weapons, and in fact they submitted it to the highest scientific review body in the country for them to consider.”

Should I laugh or cry at this quote? On one hand, I picture the Air Force dropping hundreds of gallons of Raspberry Stoli and Gautier on the Middle East. On the other hand, I cannot wrap my brain around the idea that someone thought this was actually worth the time and money to seriously study.

Military officials insisted Friday to CBS 5 that they are not currently working on any such idea and that the past plan was abandoned.

Gay community leaders in California said Friday that they found the notion of a “gay bomb” both offensive and almost laughable at the same time.

I’m with them.

“Throughout history we have had so many brave men and women who are gay and lesbian serving the military with distinction,” said Geoff Kors of Equality California. “So, it’s just offensive that they think by turning people gay that the other military would be incapable of doing their job. And its absurd because there’s so much medical data that shows that sexual orientation is immutable and cannot be changed.”

This is one of those articles that I fail at most snide commentary. On what planet is this considered logical, acceptable or appropriate?

What scares me the most about this article is that you would think we – as a supposed “world leader” – would have our country’s best scientists working with the government to develop technology to best protect our interests, security, etc. Yet this is one of the most jackassed ideas I have heard come from our government. Even more scary is that it occurred during the CLINTON administration, not Bush I, not Reagan. This was entertained during one of – in many people’s minds – the most liberal administrations and liberal climates the United States has seen in recent times.

Mull that over for a little bit.